Whispers in the Heart, Part 7

This week we continue on with the first chapter of my “Remnants of Eden: Evolution, Deep-Time, & the Antediluvian World.” God bless, and stay with me as the story unfolds with the next post…

Transitional Forms

During my journey from adolescence to adulthood, several notable things changed within my life. Though friends came and went, one stayed by my side. We were from completely different worlds, yet she, an active and outspoken Christian, and I, a quiet, sheltered atheist, somehow found common ground. In spite of our conflicting worldviews, something more than friendship blossomed.

As could be expected, our relationship quickly became strained, not due to any internal disagreement between us, but rather from outsiders who were concerned about the impact my disposition could have on her. I was tainted, it seemed. Knowing this, I tried my best to find faith again, not for my sake, but hers. Though my mind resented the notion of acquiescing to those who pushed, my heart overpowered it. She deserved any attempt possible, and soon after we started seeing each other, I began attending her church, a Southern Baptist congregation.

Despite my sincerest attempts, faith remained absent. I maintained my attendance there for over a year, from late 2001 to mid-2003, attending services as often as they were held and even participating in a number of activities outside the regular gatherings. Whatever stirrings of emotion there may have been during that time were fleeting, transient, swept away by my adherence to naturalism and an undercurrent of fear, born from my own faulty misunderstandings, that caused me to resent what I believed to be imaginary.

In June of 2003, I married her, my best friend, Sharee. Most were adamant it would not last, that we were destined to fail. I’m told that some even placed bets on the duration of our marriage. Some time prior to our marriage a fork came in the road for me. Sharee made it plainly known that she would tolerate no conflict in my priorities. It was clear before we ever married, before much serious work had ever taken place that, in regard to my heart, a choice had to be made between her and my other passion. There was no alternative. I felt only the briefest stirrings of hesitancy in my mind as I confirmed that she would be my wife, even at the cost of my work. Thus, for a time, my focus was her, our marriage, and the life we were building together.

Even so, one unfortunate casualty of the union was our church attendance. Within weeks I stopped going, and my wife, tired of listening to me complain, sadly followed my lead. It was utterly selfish for me to have stopped, especially knowing her desire to continue, but I could not see it as such then. It wasn’t long before my strict adherence to naturalism returned with a vengeance. I was sure that there was no god; certainly not the genocidal and egotistical god of the Christians. It was my duty, I assured myself, to expose the flawed thinking and misplaced faith of its adherents where I could.

The Story Continues with the Next Post…

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