This week we continue on with the first chapter of my “Remnants of Eden: Evolution, Deep-Time, & the Antediluvian World.” God bless, and stay with me as the story unfolds with the next post…
By early 2008, I had streamlined a potential means through which to achieve what I sought, and along with it formulated much of the core logistical work involving the necessary employees, facilities, and investment models for my work. Soon after, I completed the first workable draft of a business plan for International Biological Services, Inc. (IBS), the company I had dreamed of for nearly ten years.
I should have known better. I should have been more patient, especially having worked towards this point for so long already, but at that time, all the plans essentially in place, I found myself desperate. Actually, that’s too lenient a word. I ached for success like a starved addict. I ravenously craved vindication for my quest so much that I was willing to pay whatever cost necessary to prove my theories, my designs, my worth, even if I had to descend into gritty criminality to do so. Had it not been for the will of God, His plan for me being perhaps something more than a money launderer, a captive felon, or a cold corpse in a shallow grave, I would have successfully stepped into those moral depths just to taste a few musky crumbs of success. I was so close…so close. Success or failure, triumph or tragedy, it was a disastrous situation that was only narrowly averted.
Around this same time, in June of 2008, I got more fantastic news, and ultimately this news would have a much greater impact on my life than anything I could have imagined at the time: Sharee was pregnant. By this point in our lives we had already experienced several miscarriages, so our excitement was tinged with a degree of concern. A warm hope surrounded me though, and I believed that this time would be different. This time all would be OK.
In light of everything, I withdrew from my work for a time, focusing instead on something far more precious: my family.
On February 9th, 2009, shortly after 2am, I sat in a darkened delivery room rocking my firstborn daughter. In the quiet of that room, Sharee already asleep, my mind was racing with pride and fear, and immense, immeasurable love. I had never loved anything so much, nor believed it was even possible to do so. I think that such a sensation cannot adequately be described, and must instead be experienced to be understood. As I rocked, staring down at that beautiful girl who was tightly gripping my finger, I was visited by a little thought; barely there, a glimmer, a dull flash in the darkest recess of my mind. This diminutive stranger peered around the corner of the deepest edge of my consciousness and whispered to me, “Maybe there is something more?”
I was so caught up in the moment that I recall actually saying those words aloud, yet still under my breath as if scared to physically utter them, in the dark as I rocked my baby. The moment passed quickly as my full attention shifted back to that quiet bundle in my arms. One may say it was merely emotion that brought about such considerations, or give some other seemingly reasonable explanation to the goings-on of my mind, yet whatever it was, for the first time in years I questioned my tightly-held naturalistic beliefs. Could that glimmer in the dark, that gentle stranger who wished to be heard, could that simple, yet immensely profound question have been God starting to peck through the wall I had built around my heart? I have no doubt about it.
The Story Continues with the Next Post…
FOUNDRY4 is a proud member of the International Association for Creation